I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
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talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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