I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
bring money and cleavage
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
