this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
