yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
