I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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