areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
