Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.