last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
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At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How does one acquire holy water?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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