About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
