Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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