Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
