i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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