After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
