My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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