Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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