when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize