ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Say something about gay babies.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
