She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
