when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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