Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
