I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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