Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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