he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize