so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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