that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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