I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
