I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
