Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
