I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
