I wish I only lived at night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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