Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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