Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
