And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
