from now on my penis is your penis
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
