I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
