all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
