I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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