Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
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Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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