If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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