The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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