no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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