we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
