i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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