why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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