Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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