God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
