I have demons in me.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
