You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
