Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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