the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
