the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
