it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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