Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
