TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
