I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
