i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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